That holiday where I'm expected to make an entire turkey, a GABILLION sides, and several homemade desserts? That holiday I've ignored for the three years since I've had my own family b/c it scares me so much?
I OWN THANKSGIVING.
THANKSGIVING IS MY BITCH.
TAKE IT, THANKSGIVING. TAKE THIS PERFECT FUCKING TURKEY, THIS DELICIOUS STUFFING, BEANS, POTATOES AND CARROTS AND CRANBERRY SAUCE (shaped like a can. I have high-brow tastes, plus I had to fail somewhere, right?) AND FUDGE AND APPLE PIE.
YOU TAKE IT AND YOU LIKE IT, YOU DIRTY WHORE.
I'll be back to win at Thanksgiving again next year.
Suck it, bitch. And TONIGHT I'm going shopping, and we are decorating this ass apartment for CHRISTMAS. (Another thing I've not done since we've been a family. Partly because the babies were too little, and partly, I think, because I just didn't feel like a real mom or family.)
BUT THIS YEAR I DO.
I OWN THANKSGIVING.
THANKSGIVING IS MY BITCH.
TAKE IT, THANKSGIVING. TAKE THIS PERFECT FUCKING TURKEY, THIS DELICIOUS STUFFING, BEANS, POTATOES AND CARROTS AND CRANBERRY SAUCE (shaped like a can. I have high-brow tastes, plus I had to fail somewhere, right?) AND FUDGE AND APPLE PIE.
YOU TAKE IT AND YOU LIKE IT, YOU DIRTY WHORE.
I'll be back to win at Thanksgiving again next year.
Suck it, bitch. And TONIGHT I'm going shopping, and we are decorating this ass apartment for CHRISTMAS. (Another thing I've not done since we've been a family. Partly because the babies were too little, and partly, I think, because I just didn't feel like a real mom or family.)
BUT THIS YEAR I DO.